Now that the campaign for the presidency is in full swing, we thought it appropriate to offer a few snapshots of the man who could be our next president.

Arizona Senator John McCain has made more than his share of goofs, gaffes and blunders over the years, not the least of which being the two or three planes he managed to crash, most notably the one he was flying over Hanoi while strafing peasants from 30,000 feet.

But here we shall limit our discussion to the verbal blunders he has so generously provided us.  The Senator’s mercurial temper has given us plenty of yuks here at AITS, and we had to narrow down the field to a few sparkling examples.  We have scoured the Intertubes collecting these little chestnuts so you don’t have to.  Enjoy.

—Caution: Might be some heady language ahead.  You’ve been warned.—

“That’s not too important.  What’s important is the casualties.” –discussing when troops would be returning from Iraq, “Today,” NBC, June 11, 2008.

“Well, basically, it’s a Google.” –on how he is conducting his VP search, Richmond, Virginia, June 9, 2008.

“We should be able to deliver bottled hot water to dehydrated babies.” –Kenner, Louisiana, June 3, 2008.

“We have a lot of work to do. It’s a very hard struggle, particularly given the situation on the Iraq-Pakistan border.” –ABC News interview, July 21,2008. [Note: For the geographically-challenged who don't get this one, check out a current map of the region. -Ed.]

“I was concerned about a couple of steps that the Russian government took in the last several days. One was reducing the energy supplies to Czechoslovakia.” –referring to a nation that no longer exists, Phoenix, Arizona, July 14, 2008.  [OK, here's a map for this one too.  You people are friggin' remedial. -Ed.]

“…President Putin of Germany gave one of the old cold war style speeches…” [Hmm...the former Russian Prez has a new gig? -Ed.]

“I think…I’ll have my staff get to you. It’s condominiums where…I’ll have them get to you.” –after being asked how many houses he and his wife, Cindy, own, interview with Politico, Las Cruces, N.M., Aug. 20, 2008.

“Could I just mention to you, Jay, that in a moment of seriousness I spent five and a half years in a prison cell. I didn’t have a house, I didn’t have a kitchen table, I didn’t have a table, I didn’t have a chair.” –using his POW experience as an excuse for not remembering how many homes he owns, “Tonight Show” interview with Jay Leno, August 25, 2008.  [The guy had five days to ponder since the last time that question was asked.  FIVE DAYS to come up with a good comeback, and yet, nothing intelligent.  Just another dubious excuse tied to his Vietnam experiences.  The guy must have POW Tourette's. -Ed.]

“She’s a partner and a soul-mate.” –on his vice presidential pick, Sarah Palin, whom he had met just once before offering her the job, “FOX News Sunday” interview, Aug. 31, 2008.

“The issue of economics is not something I’ve understood as well as I should. I’ve got Greenspan’s book.” –as quoted in the Boston Globe, Dec. 17, 2007.  [That might explain the next quote. -Ed.]

“Americans have got to understand that we are paying present-day retirees with the taxes paid by young workers in America today. And that’s a disgrace. It’s an absolute disgrace and it’s got to be fixed.” –discussing Social Security, Denver, Colorado, July 7, 2008.

“I will conduct a respectful debate. Now, it will be dispirited — it will be spirited — because there are stark differences. I am a proud conservative, liberal Republica– conservative Republican…Hello? Easy there.”

“No one has supported President Bush on Iraq more than I have.”

“The fact is that I have agreed with President Bush far more than I have disagreed. And on the transcendent issues, the most important issues of our day, I’ve been totally in agreement and support of President Bush.” –”Meet the Press” interview, June 19, 2005.

“Make it a hundred…That would be fine with me.” –to a questioner who asked if he supported President Bush’s vision for keeping U.S. troops in Iraq for 50 years, Derry, New Hampshire, Jan. 3, 2008.

“Fuck you! I know more about this than anyone else in the room.” –to Sen. John Cornyn (R-TX), during a testy debate over immigration legislation.

“No, I’m calling you a fucking jerk.” –to fellow Republican Senator Chuck Grassley, when Grassley asked “Are you calling me stupid?”

“Only an asshole would put together a budget like this … I wouldn’t call you an asshole unless you really were an asshole.” –to Budget Committee Chairman and fellow Repulican Senator Pete Domenici, during a Senate budget hearing.

“At least I don’t plaster on the makeup like a trollop, you cunt.” -to his wife, Cindy, after she playfully twirled his hair and said “You’re getting a little thin up there.”  –As reported by Cliff Schecter, in his book, The Real McCain.

“I hate the gooks. I will hate them as long as I live.” - in a response to a reporter’s question about McCain’s previous use of the racist ephitet. McCain has refused to stop using the G-word, though he backpeddled a bit, stating that the term applies only to his Vietnamese captors, and not to Asians in general.

“Do you know why Chelsea Clinton is so ugly? Because Janet Reno is her father.” –at a 1998 Republican fundraiser. [Now that one's really funny! -Ed.]