Two U.S. Senators have proposed legislation that would “crack down on copyright theft around the world.” The bill would, among other things, enable the U.S. to take steps against so-called copyright pirates in countries on the “Priority Watch List.”

Seriously. We’re not making this shit up.

Countries believed to be harboring copyright infringers could find themselves on the wrong end of some U.S. presidential wrath. Under the terms of the bill, the Prez would be empowered to open up a big can of whoop-ass on copyright infringement threats overseas, including planting officials at embassies in those countries. Not sure who they will get to serve in those embassy positions, maybe RIAA Guy would be up to the task.

Here’s a better idea. They should task the CIA to pull this one off. Perhaps even a joint venture with British MI6, since the Brits seem to have as much angst over illicit copying as the Americans.

Looks to us like a job for a secret agent man. Send him on missions to rogue nations believed to be harboring Copies of Mass Destruction (CMDs). The secret agent could slip into the country, kill the pirates, destroy the CMDs, and maybe even have time to hook up with a few of the local girls before flying home. Real superhero stuff. We could then roll in the troops to maintain order and occupy the bad-boy nations for a while–maybe 100 years if John McCain has a say in it.

As icing on the cake, give some Hollywood studio the movie rights to the stories. Would make a compelling action/adventure flick of the crusading copyright hero. Call it On Her Studio’s Secret Service. Or Licence to Kill, Not Copy.  You get the point. The studios might even make a few mil from it to help restock their litigation coffers. Real win-win kinda deal.