[Ed. note: we are now being forced to supplement our subliminal advertising revenues by occasionally adding standard advertising like this one into the Alligators in the Sewer site. We know, sooooo twentieth century,
and we hate to resort to such anachronistic marketing. But bear with us, OK? We need the extra money, and dammit, they're paying with cash! It's not like we're running those annoying Shockwave splash screens or launching popups, so quit your griping already. And don't worry, we'll keep the subliminal stuff running to feed your impressionable minds.]
ADVERTISEMENT — FURNITURE FOUNDRY, INC.
Sometimes the cosmic powers don’t always work in our favor. Once in a while, bad karma just c
omes out of nowhere and bites us square in the ass. How were we to know a 9000 pound asteroid would come crashing through the roof of our central warehouse in Dallas? Nature’s destructive forces have cleared out most of our inventory, but that means hot deals for you the customer, as we move out the remaining goods…and debris!
Coming soon to your town: Furniture Foundry’s Space Invaders Destruction Sale. You heard it right! Everything in our inventory that wasn’t completely vaporized on impact or otherwise destroyed in the ensuing fireball is now on sale at huge discounts!
Look for the big surplus FEMA tents being set up in cities all across the country. Inside you will find hundreds and hundreds of quality furnishings salvaged from our (former) warehouse in Texas. Everything has been decontaminated and tested for radiation levels and priced to move! Some goods were miraculously spared from the destructive impact. Other goods sustained some minor 
damage, and others yet were reduced to splinters - superb kindling for the fireplace! And all of it is on sale!
It’s a one-time only event (we hope!), and it won’t last long, as our lawyers are in court as we speak, initiating bankruptcy proceedings on behalf of the company. So hurry now for the best selection before we go tits-up!
That big iron-nickel meteorite crashed and burned…and so has our company. And the savings have been passed on to you! Don’t miss this gigantic sale!
