Another sign of the slow economy: wallowing automobile manufacturer Ford Motor Company has officially announced that it will be offered for sale to “any reasonable bidder” in an effort to save itself from its dire financial situation.

Alan Mulally, CEO of the foundering automaker, has given marching orders to his company’s executive board and marketing department to “pursue the engagement of any reasonable bidder” for the company. “Heck, I’d be happy just to swap out our shares for a bunch of Google stock,” admitted the frustrated executive.

Mulally has turned the company’s marketing department upside down, promoting the use of viral marketing concepts in order to attract potential buyers. The company has been posting ads on eBay and Craigslist, and is even going as far as encouraging its employees to “ask around” their friends and family in the hopes of locating a worthy suitor. “You just never know,” added the optimistic Mulally. “Our company’s next owner could be some assembly line worker’s rich uncle Milt.” Workers are pumped up as Ford is offering a 5 percent finder’s fee to any employee who lines up a buyer for the ailing corporation.

With juggernaut Toyota growing ever larger, and with a GM-Chrysler merger looming, Ford is feeling even more squeezed. The company is not too proud to ask the government for help, hoping to tap into part of the massive bailout money recently approved by Congress for the financial industry. Operations spokesman Ron Strezewski thinks the automakers should get a slice of that cash.

“They’re handing over 700 billion to a bunch of pansy-ass bankers with fancy suits and manicured, sushi-eating, metrosexual Wall Street types,” barked Strezewski. “Those sissies don’t even get their hands dirty building real machines like we do. They don’t know what it’s like to work day in and day out in a factory. We deserve a share of that action for our toils.”