After months of speculation over his apparent declining health, and even death rumors, Kim Jong-il (aka Kim Jong II) has now shocked and surprised the world by surfacing alive and healthy in Florida. The wily North Korean dictator was spotted for the first time by local media at Disney World in Orlando (right), enjoying the sights with his nephew.
When approached by reporters, Kim sheepishly confessed that he had been living incognito in the U.S. for several weeks already. “I needed to get out of Pyongyang,” admitted Kim. “It is such a dreary place, especially in late autumn when the cold winds begin to blow from the Yellow Sea. I just had to get away from that winter gloom.”
Kim had quietly left North Korea with a few of his closest advisers, secretly hopping aboard a Chinese freighter bound for a toy import company in Miami (left). From there, Kim and his posse rented a Hummer and headed north to Orlando, stopping at a few beaches and strip clubs 
along the way. “I’ve always wanted to see Disney World and Epcot Center,” added a giddy Kim Jong-il. “And I have a sister who lives in the area (right), and wanted to look her up.”
Kim and his entourage have been staying at a Days Inn at an undisclosed location in central Florida. “Please understand that we prefer a bit of privacy as we enjoy our warm winter here in your beautiful autonomous province of Florida,” said Kim. The dictator’s stay in Florida has been a boon to his health,
as he appeared tanned and more fit while enjoying a couple cold ones and watching South Park in his hotel room (left).
Kim has kept himself busy during his stay, going fishing in the Gulf of Mexico and visiting Kennedy Space Center by day, and hitting several of the area clubs at night.
When news reporters inquired as to who was back home running North Korea during Kim’s absence, Kim scoffed at any notion of him abdicating his power.
“I am not seeking exile in your country,” retorted a slightly defensive Kim Jong-il. “My nation is in very good hands and it will continue to be so upon my triumphant return. The Democratic People’s Republic of Korea will continue to be the glorious paragon of prosperity, political stability and world peace.”
Asked when he would return to his native country, Kim replied, “in the springtime, when the weather back home doesn’t suck so much. And of course, after I’ve spent a week or two in Daytona Beach enjoying some spring break action.”
