Knowing a market opportunity when it sees one, the Coca-Cola company announced today that it will be collecting and bottling glacial meltwater from the Greenland icepack. The soft drink giant has disclosed plans to set up several bottling plants along the coast of the giant arctic island that would produce over 15 million half-liter containers a month of its latest bottled water product, tentatively branded “Icemelt.”

The proposed facilities will be an economic boon to the mostly Inuit inhabitants of Greenland’s sparsely-populated western coast, where hunting and fishing are the primary industries. Erik Daneskog, Minister of Economic Development for the Danish island territory is ecstatic. “It is our hope that Greenland will become known for more than just whale blubber, fermented shark meat and pickled cod. We welcome this new market for our natural resources. One thing we have in abundance is ice, though we may not have that for long. So I say let’s try to make the best of it while it lasts!”

But the move is not without its critics, drawing the scorn of environmental groups. Sierra Club spokesman Nathan Dilweed leveled harsh criticism at the plan. “It’s bad enough that we humans are creating this meltdown of the earth’s icecaps in the first place through global warming. Now we have parasitic corporations exploiting the results of that. It’s almost a tacit approval by Coca-Cola of mankind’s heavy carbon footprint. It’s enough to make me want to drink Pepsi!”

Company officials scoff at those claims. Lisa Ceretti, media relations specialist for Coke’s bottled water products division, swiftly responded to the criticism, stating, ”that ice is going to melt anyway. Why not make use of it instead of just letting it drain into the sea where it will decrease ocean salinity, impacting delicate marine ecosystems, raising sea levels which will flood coastlines, and chilling ocean currents, causing disturbances in weather patterns, resulting in extinctions and unnatural migrations of animals? Do those wacky tree-huggers have a smart-alecky answer for that one? Do they?”

Coca-Cola is applying that exact line of reasoning in its marketing efforts to reach out to a younger, more eco-conscious crowd. “Once the public realizes that consuming our bottled water will prevent some of the glacial runoff from reaching the oceans, Icemelt will become the must-have green Greenlandic water,” added Ceretti. “Mark my words.”

Coca-Cola hopes to bring its new bottled water to market in the U.S. and Europe before warm weather sets in next summer. The company plans to market the water to upscale customers through high-end grocery retailers and fine restaurants.