Get the lead out. That’s what consumers and safety advocates in the U.S. told Chinese toy manufacturers after concerns over high levels of lead found in toys. The Chinese manufacturers’ indignant response: “Screw you guys. We like making stuff from lead, so we’ll just put it into other things.”

After a plummet in orders for holiday toys this year, the toy-making industry in China will re-tool their plants in 2009 and start making other lead-based products, such as fishing tackle and bullets.

Hsu Chiang, spokesman for the Chinese toy manufacturer’s cooperative, said, “metallic lead is ingrained into our culture and has been for centuries. Demanding that we remove it from the fine products we make is a slap in the face to all Chinese workers and will not be tolerated. We will continue our proud tradition of creating goods containing ample amounts of the glorious gray metal. If Americans want lead-free toys, maybe they should try making those things themselves. Let’s see how that works out!”

Blanche Julius, representative for the U.S. Toy Importers Association, was disappointed but sympathetic.

“We are troubled to hear that our Chinese trading partners will stop making their wonderful toys for our children, said Julius. “But I understand their plight, and can’t really blame them for switching to more lead-friendly products like fishing weights and ammo. All this happened because of a bunch of nutjobs who got worked up into a frenzy over a little bitty amount of lead. Lead only hurts you if you ingest it, and what kind of idiot does that?”

Toy marketers in the U.S. are not sure how to fill the manufacturing void, though one consortium of companies has a plan to build U.S. toy factories and staff them with some of the thousands of autoworkers who will likely be seeking work soon.