A nurse working in the psychiatric ward of a St. Louis hospital went on a rampage last Friday after  sustaining a minor head injury. Rita Luschen, 44, a registered nurse at St. Anthony’s Medical Center, was struck on the head by a 14-pound IV pump which fell off a high shelf in a supply room. Luschen was briefly knocked unconscious and collapsed to the floor. The IV pump was undamaged.

Coworkers ran into the storeroom to see what had happened, only to find Luschen sprawled on the floor in a stupor, the back of her head bleeding profusely. Luschen slowly stood up. That’s when things got strange.

“She looked like one of our patients,” remarked Jennifer Bowden, an orderly on the floor. “She had this wild-eyed devilish look and she was making weird hissing sounds like a cat. I asked if she was okay, but she just started rambling  some nonsense and bolted out of the room. I got the hell out of the way…I ain’t paid enough to mess with that shit!”

Luschen then ran down a hallway, shouting a mixture of profanities and what observers believed to be some nonsensical phrases in Latin. Patients in the ward stood up and cheered as the ranting Luschen dashed down the aisle, her arms flailing.

“I’ve never seen a nurse do that before,” said Stanley Kappelberger, staff administrator for the hospital. “Usually it’s our patients trying those kinds of stunts. Luckily we have experience with that sort of thing.”

Security was called, and they quickly located Luschen in an exam room. When cornered by the guards, Luschen jumped up onto a table, brandishing a syringe of lidocaine.

“Get away from me…get the hell away from me!,” demanded Luschen. “One more step and I’ll make one of your appendages really really numb!”

After about fifteen minutes, guards were able to calm Luschen down and put her into restraints - for her own safety, of course. Luschen was treated for her head injuries and kept on a 48 hour psychiatric hold. She has since been released and is now on paid administrative leave.

St. Anthony’s Medical Center issued a press release today, stating that it has instituted a new workplace policy, requiring heavy instruments to be stored on shelves no higher than 4 feet above the floor. The hospital is confident that this will prevent the occurrence of similar accidents.