It was a nice spring day - a Saturday - and all of us at AITS were trying to get some work done, so that maybe, just maybe, we might get out in time to enjoy some of it before the sun sets. We had some catching up to do at AITS headquarters after being furloughed for a month and a half, and Maynard’s presence wasn’t helping much. Actually, Maynard’s presence wasn’t helping at all. We wanted - needed - Maynard to get the fuck out of our hair, so Norm told him to take the afternoon off. Go fishing or something. No equipment? No problem. Norm gave him an old curtain rod, ten feet of twine and some paper clips.

Go dig up some worms and check out the drainage pond next to the freeway onramp - we heard it’s stocked, he he.

Late that afternoon, Maynard returned with that grinning, just-humped-the-neighbor’s-cat look on his face. Damned if he didn’t catch some fish, though we couldn’t determine just what mutant species they were. Bastard had a 5-gallon bucket full of some of the most ugly-ass fish we had ever seen. Maynard headed around the back of the AITS building with his bucket and a pocket knife. His dinner awaited, and though he kindly offered up some of his catch to the rest of us, we wanted nothing to do with it.

It’s all yours, Maynard. Bon appetit.

Big mistake: letting Maynard clean the damn things on the back steps. This is what we saw out back as we were leaving that night: