NASA launched a rocket last week. Normally, that would not be news. But this is no ordinary NASA launch. This particular rocket is carrying a 1.5 megaton hydrogen bomb on a journey to the moon. The unmanned LCROSS (Lunar Crater Obliteration and Search Satellite) mission will culminate in the detonation of the warhead on the surface of the moon in October. The nuclear test is expected to create a 5-mile-wide crater and send a plume of glistening moon debris hundreds of miles above the surface, a spectacle that will be clearly visible to the naked eye from earth. NASA believes that the explosion will force extraterrestrials living in underground colonies to react and come to the surface. NASA scientists then hope to use a remotely-controlled lunar lander to trap and return to earth one or more of the extraterrestrials.

“It’s been well documented that some of the Apollo astronauts spotted ETs during their flights back in the ’60s,” said Willard E. Schwartz, a NASA spokesman for the LCROSS project. “While those sightings have been met with much public skepticism over the years, the LCROSS detonation should finally confirm our long-held belief in the existence of extraterrestrials by flushing them out of their hiding places.”

“When those elusive little bastards see that mushroom cloud and feel the seismic shock, they’ll be coming out in droves,” added Schwartz. “It’s gonna get their attention - they’re really gonna be pissed! Then we’ll catch a few of those buggers and bring ‘em back to earth for study.”

Reaction to the news of the launch was swift, with thousands of protesters peacefully taking to the streets in several cities, carrying signs, singing songs and chanting “Don’t bomb the moon - it’s the only one we’ve got!“

Sensitive to the possible repercussions of this mission, especially in the wake of the recent 40th anniversary celebrations of the Apollo 11 moon landing, President Obama gave a short statement to the press today in hopes of assuaging any concerns over the lunar detonation.

“The moon will still be there,” assured the President. “It will always be there, for our children and our children’s children to enjoy, high up in the sky. We’re just knocking off a tiny piece of it, that’s all.”

NASA spokesman Schwartz is confident in the success of the LCROSS mission. “We’re sending it up during a new moon, so the aliens won’t see it coming!”