We sent Gordy on a fool’s errand (in the AITS utility truck of course - to save money) to check out several state fairs around the country and report back. Mainly, to discover some of the unusual crap they put on a stick and sell at outrageous prices to gullible fair-goers. We want to know what kinds of shit people are willing to eat when they’re not hanging out at the hog barn or spewing their guts out on midway rides. You would simply be amazed (or appalled) at some of the things those slack-jawed yokels will ingest and wash down with a plastic cup of warm Old Milwaukee. Here are few of Gordy’s culinary highlights from his low-budget road trip:

The delicacies pictured above, from top-left, clockwise:

Mice-on-a-stick (betcha can’t eat just one!), Missouri; scorpion-kebab, Arizona; froggie-on-a-cane-pole, Louisiana; and skewered barbecued naked mole rat, Texas.

Gordy, whose motto is “try anything once - except incest and folk-dancing,” had no problem eating all those exotic snacks. Fortunately for us, he didn’t bring back any samples. We’ll just take his word for it. Really.