Libyan leader Moammar Gadhafi will be visiting the United Nations in New York next month. But the controversial dictator won’t be staying at a posh Manhattan hotel. Instead, Gadhafi will pitch a large tent in the backyard of a friend’s home in Englewood, New Jersey, after being denied a camping permit for New York’s Central Park. Gadhafi, being a good sport, plans to roast a goat over a campfire and invite the neighbors over one night during his stay. When asked about Gadhafi’s unusual lodging arrangements, a spokesman for the leader said that Gadhafi “is an avid outdoorsman, and loves to get close to nature.”

Plutophiles protest in Illinois. Exactly three years after the International Astronomical Union demoted Pluto’s status from planet to “dwarf planet,” protesters lined the streets outside the Illinois capitol building in Springfield, calling on the legislature to “do something about our beloved little rock.” A legislative spokesman, addressing the crowd from the capitol steps, urged the rowdy group to just “go home and check out Uranus or something,” adding that the legislature “probably doesn’t have jurisdiction over the IAU anyway.”

A Swedish court ordered file-sharing site The Pirate Bay to pull the plug after it received numerous complaints that the site was sharing “way too much ABBA music.” The panel of judges, citing artistic diversity requirements embodied in Sweden’s constitution, said the site was “unduly one-sided” by offering up such large quantities of songs by the defunct ’70s pop group. The court noted that TPB was “picking on the group,” by sharing the entire ABBA back catalog, including its Greatest Hits album. Meanwhile, owners of TPB have appealed the ruling, stating that it has now added “a ton of thrash metal and post industrial to help balance things out.”

This week’s edition of NFTS was compiled by Norm who, between fits of yelling and ranting, managed to pound out these crappy stories on his keyboard.