Despite the shitty economy, we at Alligators In The Sewer seem to be doing rather well. So well that we have added a new member to our disgusting little crew. Give a big welcome to scary-looking Phil Usher.

Phil is our field correspondent, covering all the twisted and stomach-turning events from around the nation when we’re too lazy or apathetic to send out one of our local idiots. Phil criss-crosses the country at random, sleeping in his car and living off ramen noodles and those nasty little tins of Vienna sausages. Armed with his cellphone camera, he’s always looking for trouble and usually finds it. Phil has been busted for vagrancy more times than any of us cares to remember, and when he’s not being chased out of some town, he phones in with news of the latest stupid story he has stumbled across. Once in a while he even sends in an article from the road, though it’s usually peppered with his atrocious spelling and grammar. It takes an hour or more to fix the bad writing. It gives Norm fits.

We’d like to tell you where Phil is heading next, but he refuses to give his location, preferring to suddenly pop up on our radar like a drive-by shooting. Probably best that way. Right now he could be anywhere. Maybe cruising down your street.