Several noted climatologists and economists at the University of California-Berkeley have published the results of a study showing a correlation between the home mortgage crisis and the El Niño climate pattern in the Pacific Ocean. The 18 month-long study was a joint effort between the university’s economics and earth sciences departments.

The cause and effect described in the study reads like a Rube Goldberg device. Climatologist Todd Bishir of UC-Berkeley describes the chain of events:

“With an El Niño weather pattern you have warmer water temperatures in the Pacific Ocean. This increase in temps creates strong ocean currents which generates a convective effect in the atmosphere which in turn forces more moisture into the air. This added moisture moves inland, triggering more rain, more violent storms and more floods across the continent. People tend to not be in as much of a home-buying mood when it’s crappy outside, which depresses home sales. Fewer people seek mortgages from lending institutions. Lenders respond by offering more aggressive financing in order to meet sales quotas. This pushes mortgages on people with marginal financial means, resulting in massive amounts of foreclosures. The real estate and lending markets plunge, while housing prices collapse nationwide.”

The blue-ribbon panel of scientists and market experts released the results of the study during a press conference yesterday afternoon, adding that the data includes a 4 percent margin of error.

“It’s possible that a small number of foreclosures may have been caused by traditional market factors, such as unemployment, delinquent payments and the recession,” added Bishir. “But make no mistake - the climate is what’s really screwing things up here.”

The revelation sent the Dow spiraling, plunging 475 points by the close of trading yesterday.

Quick to respond to the issue, Congress and the Obama Administration are now considering  earmarking stimulus money to help alleviate the problem.  Funding may become available to hire ships to tow icebergs from the Arctic to the mid-Pacific, in hopes the ice will chill water temperatures.

Economists at the university believe that the housing market will rebound “with a vengeance” just as soon as the Pacific Ocean reverts back to a cooler La Niña weather cycle.

Meanwhile, another group of scientists is examining a possible connection between global warming and the number of Somali pirates operating in the Gulf of Aden.