In an unusual and desperate move, the Pentagon has authorized sending more than 11,000 attorneys to combat zones in Iraq and Afghanistan. The military hopes the deployment will help stabilize some of the hot spots of insurgency in those war-torn nations. Congress has authorized the use of stimulus funds to pay for the deployment.

So far, the results appear positive.

“These guys are scrappy little bastards,” remarked a Marine lieutenant colonel, who declined to be named. “They throw just about anything they can find at the insurgents. Those suits stand there and argue until the jihadists simply get tired and leave. They just wear them down. And if that doesn’t work, they have a meeting and a few drinks, then come back with another strategy. They keep going after them until they’ve exhausted every means available. Have to give ‘em credit for their tenacity.”

Back at home, the deployment is overwhelmingly supported. According to the latest polls, over 93% of Americans support sending lawyers to combat zones in the Middle East, with 74% believing the U.S. should be sending more.

The arrival of lawyers has also boosted morale among the troops already there. Service members are relieved that new arrivals have come along to help pick up the load.

“About time someone else went out looking for IEDs and flushing out snipers,” said Army staff sergeant Chris Maxwell. “Now if we could just get them to shut the fuck up once in a while…”

Meanwhile, the deployed lawyers remain hopeful, and highly motivated.

“We’re making progress and have a good chance of prevailing here. We just need to keep track of our billable hours,” stated Ted Denziel, a bankruptcy attorney from Boston. “But we could use a ’surge’ over here to get the mission completed. We need a few thousand fresh law school grads to help out.”