Cash for appliances? After the huge successes of the Cash-For-Clunkers program, the government is now proposing a cash for appliances payout. The Obama administration hopes the stimulus will encourage people to buy new appliances and boost retail sales. The Department of Commerce has set up a website and toll-free hotline to answer questions. But due to massive traffic, the site’s server crashed on the first day and the 800 number’s switchboards were swamped with calls from people asking about whether the cash rebates will apply appliances ranging from sex toys to wine coolers to keg fridges.
Bank of America announced that it will be paying off its $45 billion TARP loan. The financial institution’s officers are so ecstatic, they are celebrating the momentous occasion this week by giving themselves huge raises. Hurrah!
Man hammers TVs in Minnesota Target store. The man, Jerome Charles Eberle, of Chicago, was observed “walking like Frankenstein” in the Winona, MN, store, smashing televisions with a hammer. Following several calls by frightened customers, police apprehended the man after tasing him. This is the second such incident at the Winona Target store. Last summer, a man resembling Gallagher entered the grocery department of the store, swinging a large wooden mallet at various items in the produce section.
General Motors CEO ousted. Fritz Henderson, the CEO installed by the Obama administration just 8 months ago to help guide the wallowing automaker, has now resigned amid allegations he was constantly at loggerheads with the company’s board of directors. Henderson’s family is quite upset. The U.S. government, which now owns a majority stake in the company, has severely limited executive pay, causing the board to believe it will have a difficult time recruiting a qualified leader to take Henderson’s place. With its limited budget, the company has now resorted to placing ads on Craigslist and has hired a headhunter firm which is sifting through LinkedIn profiles, looking for anyone who might be willing to fill the chief executive spot on the cheap. Applicants for the CEO position can apply online at GM’s website.
This week’s edition of NFTS was compiled by Norm, who was not amused at all when he discovered that Bug the Cat had left a special something on his keyboard this morning.
