Nigerians declare jihad on Michigan. Just two days after one Nigerian terrorist-in-training-pants tried to blow up a Detroit-bound airliner with a dud bomb, a second Nigerian decides to try his luck at causing trouble on the same Amsterdam to Detroit flight. In the latter incident, it turns out the unruly passenger simply had a “problem” in the airliner’s lavatory. After spending way too much time in the shitter, the Nigerian fellow became “verbally disruptive” after when the flight’s crew ordered him to come out.

Improv bullfighting FAIL. An improvisational bullfighter in the southern Mexican town of Atlixtac quickly discovered his limitations when the enraged bull he was taunting gored him in the neck. The bullfighter later died of his wounds at a local hospital. Said one disappointed fan, “it’s not supposed to work out that way. I want my money back.”

This week’s edition of NFTS was compiled by Norm, who considered making a New Year’s resolution to be nicer to his minions at Alligators In The Sewer…then promptly burst into maniacal laughter at the mere thought of it.