Air France announces new policy to help obese passengers. The French airline is now offering a second, adjacent seat free to qualifying passengers with waistlines of 140cm (55in.) or greater. Air France had previously required plus-sized flyers to purchase a second seat. A spokesperson for the airline said the policy change is intended to ensure fairness and to “attract more American passengers.”

John Edwards admits fathering child. After more than a year of speculation, the former North Carolina senator and democratic presidential hopeful has finally come forward and admitted in public that he is indeed the father of the 2-year old lovechild born to campaign videographer Rielle Hunter. Said Edwards: “I guess there’s no hiding the fact that the little brat sure looks a lot like me.”

Bin Laden thought to be hiding in Spain. Spanish authorities descended on a man in Barcelona believed to be the fugitive Osama bin Laden, only to discover that they had instead arrested a prominent lawmaker, Gaspar Llamazares. The lawmaker, who bears a striking resemblance to the wily al-Qaeda leader, was initially taken into custody after an anonymous tip was phoned in to local police. After the mixup was cleared, red-faced security officials quickly issued a public apology to Llamazares, stating in Spanish television, “Oops, looks like we fucked up.” A French production company contacted Llamazares the next day, offering him the role as bin Laden in an upcoming action-adventure film.

This week’s edition of NFTS was compiled by Norm, who never in his life has been confused with any high-profile fugitive…in fact not even a low-profile fugitive.