Toyota recalls millions of automobiles. The massive recall came on the heels of a revelation that many of the cars were prone to serious accelerator problems, possibly resulting in accidents. Meanwhile, Chrysler Corp. has offered to buy the cars from Toyota and re-badge them for sale, with a company official flatly stating that their customers “generally aren’t that picky about such things.”

Man seen playing with live chicken on NYC subway. The unidentified man, who appeared homeless, pulled the live chicken out of a paper bag and let it run loose inside the subway car. The man then started chasing it down the aisle, while shouting obscenities and flailing his arms. There were no reports that the man choked it, which of course would not be newsworthy.

China bans dog and cat meat. A new law outlaws the consumption of cats and dogs, considered culinary delicacies in many parts of the country. (We didn’t ask if they taste like chicken.) The new legislation, which imposes fines of over $1000 for violations, has been welcomed by animal rights groups throughout the nation. In other news, it was reported that the population of China’s squirrels, rats and raccoons has plummeted in recent months, leaving wildlife officials puzzled.

This week’s edition of NFTS was compiled by Phil, who, for some reason, mysteriously stopped patronizing his local Chinese restaurant.