Whiz-kid shock treatment. Good news: Washington man survives crashing his car into a utility pole. Bad news: he is electrocuted moments later when he decides to relieve himself in the ditch, not noticing the downed power line laying there. Fate sometimes has a second wind.

Former Rep. Mark Foley opens consignment shop. The disgraced Congressman, who resigned last year amid a lurid sex scandal, just opened the West Palm Beach store. The shop, which will primarily feature used furniture and household goods, will not carry books, as the temptation to bend over pages may be too much for him to resist.

Bring-your-kid-to-work day at JFK control tower a smashing success. Last Wednesday marked the third annual event at the air traffic control tower at New York’s busy JFK airport. Over a dozen children of ATC employees enjoyed hands-on experience with radar systems, navigation and communications equipment. One clever lad even required pilots of approaching airliners to solve riddles before being given clearance to land. Said one air traffic controller: “Kids need toys, and those precocious little ones sure bring a nice diversion to our stressful work environment!”

This week’s edition of NFTS was compiled by Norm, who is starting to get pissed off by his court-ordered anger-management therapy.