California restaurant serves whale sushi. The Santa Monica sushi bar, appropriately named The Hump, is now serving the delicacy, which was previously banned in the U.S. After Congress recently lifted the ban on eating marine mammals, several west coast eateries began serving kujira - a staple in Japan - with The Hump leading the charge. Said the restaurant’s head chef: “it’s tender, it’s exotic, it’s delicious…you really must try this stuff!” The Hump plans to start adding whale steaks and whale kabob to its menu.

Celebrity launches second diarrhea shakedown cruise. After the cruise line’s last adventure with 450 passengers contracting a gastrointestinal illness, the company pulled the ship, Mercury, into port and scrubbed it - using a whole can of Lysol! Not surprisingly, the next trip out resulted in another batch of sick tourists. Of course it might help if Celebrity Cruises could just get their kitchen staff to wash their hands once in a while.

New Jersey Walmart store evacuates black customers. A Walmart manager at the Washington Township, N.J. store created pandemonium when she ordered “all black people to leave immediately!” over the store’s public address system. Crowds of confused customers rushed toward the doors, thinking some kind of emergency had just occurred. Fortunately, no one was hurt in the incident. Officials at Walmart headquarters in Bentonville, AR, were not amused by night manager Sheila Ellington’s prank, stating in a press release, “we just get our image with the African-American community patched up…and then this happens!”

This week’s edition of NFTS was compiled by Gordy, who is often prone to wearing tank tops and speedos to work but no one really notices.