Texas Governor goes coyote hunting. Pistol-packing governor Rick Perry amused himself last week by sitting on the steps of the governor’s mansion in Austin and taking potshots at various critters. Hoping to see a few stray cats to pick off, Perry was pleasantly surprised when he spotted a large coyote running across the back yard. The governor dropped the animal with one shot from his .44 Magnum.  Perry field-dressed the wily coyote, and plans a barbecue. Said the governor: “They taste just like chicken…a little on the tough side, though.”

Germany comes to Greece’s help. In an effort to assist the economically faltering nation, German chancellor Angela Merkel has offered to send monetary aid to Greece. Merkel stated that Germany was just being karmic, recalling a time decades ago when Greece helped as Russia invaded Turkey from the rear.

Jason Alexander runs over kid on bike. The actor accidentally struck the 14-year-old boy last Tuesday while driving in Los Angeles. The bicyclist suffered a concussion and numerous broken bones, but is expected to survive. When interviewed by police officers on the scene, the former Seinfeld star replied, “Was that wrong? Should I not have done that? Because if anyone had said anything to me about not hitting kids on bikes…”

This week’s edition of NFTS was compiled by Norm, who occasionally runs into unlucky bicyclists, rollerbladers and pedestrians while driving to AITS headquarters, though he hasn’t inflicted serious harm on anyone…yet.