Pyro rat torches VFW. A Veterans of Foreign Wars hall in Yakima, Washington, burned to the ground last week from a fire started by a rat in the basement. The curious rodent was playing with a book of matches when they suddenly ignited. The fire quickly spread throughout the structure, due to the large amounts of liquor and cooking grease stored in the building. Fortunately, no one was hurt in the blaze, though it is not known if the rat made it out alive.

S.C. island bans singing. Sullivan’s Island, South Carolina, has passed a measure banning singing, whistling or playing any type of musical notes in hopes of “creating calm” on the sleepy tourist spot just off the coast. The city council did stop short of banning other traditional forms of merriment, such as watching NASCAR, shooting guns and burning crosses.

This week’s edition of NFTS was compiled by Gordy, who discovered what he believed to be a fried mouse in his lunch at a local diner, but kept eating, saying “WTF, it all tastes the same anyway.”