Selected Articles From The AITS Cellar
These wonderfully twisted Alligators In The Sewer posts come and go so quickly, pushed off the main page and into the archives as time marches on and new pages are added. Stashed where few take the time to find them, doomed to obscurity. OK, enough drama. You get the idea.
Here is your chance to see what you have been missing all this time. Especially if you’ve recently discovered our disgusting little site. Below are links to selected AITS articles that we have - for whatever reason fits within our self-aggrandized goals - deemed notable. Our back issues. You’ve got some catching up to do.
December 15, 2008. President Bush tours DSW store in Baghdad; visit goes awry as shoppers pelt him with shoes.
December 13, 2008. For lack of a better idea, RV manufacturer donates unsold motor homes to Habitat for Humanity.
December 12, 2008. Camel meat to replace kangaroo as Australian national dish.
December 10, 2008. Listmania: Entertaining things to do while bored in a tourist town.
December 8, 2008. 350 pound man wants to be first lard-ass couch-potato to climb Everest.
December 7, 2008. Michigan’s Upper Peninsula secedes from The United States out of sheer boredom.
December 4, 2008. UK stable worker finally admits to long-running affair with horse. Owner not amused.
December 3, 2008. Ohio State Univ. frathouse hires prostitute; sells raffle tickets on Craigslist.
December 2, 2008. Adult entertainment industry seeking government bailout money.
December 1, 2008. Idaho to close highways for winter in desperate cost-cutting move.
November 29, 2008. Wisconsin radio station truck contest ended after 7 month stalemate, pregnancy.
November 29, 2008. West Virginia man lives out David Allan Coe country song in one day.
November 26, 2008. Lost NASA toolbag expected to reenter earth’s atmosphere “within a few days.”
November 25, 2008. N.J. man gives up exec job to pursue lifelong dream as zamboni driver.
November 24, 2008. Andy Rooney finally discovers new electronic gadget he actually likes.
November 23, 2008. Nebraska Butt Bandit finally caught; townsfolk can come back out now.
November 23, 2008. Fried food trade group launches ad blitz; attempts to reverse lagging market share.
November 19, 2008. GM CEO vows to take “Aldi Challenge” in heroic gesture of personal sacrifice.
November 17, 2008. Extreme Makeover Home Edition builds new house for kooky cat lady and her 200 kitties.
November 14, 2008. In quest of a refrigerator for AITS headquarters.
November 11, 2008. Image of Jesus on toast turns out to be Zig-Zag man. Ebay bids continue anyway.
November 9, 2008. News of Kim Jong-Il’s demise premature; North Korean leader turns up alive and well in Florida.
November 7, 2008. Ford Motor Co. up for sale; CEO would consider trade for “a bunch of Google stock.”
November 6, 2008. Maynard’s big Fleet Farm adventure.
November 5, 2008. Celebrity chef Gordon Ramsay visits the Colonel; major hissy-fit ensues.
November 3, 2008. Saddam Hussein’s yacht up for sale; turns out to be big heap of shit.
October 31, 2008. N.Y. tourism Internet portal helps visitors locate rats.
October 30, 2008. Zoo dog trained to give CPR to other animals.
October 29, 2008. Listmania: some of our favorite weirdo one-hit wonders.
October 25, 2008. AITS boss throws staff Halloween party. Hilarity does not ensue.
October 24, 2008. A playlist for your recession-era musical enjoyment.
October 22, 2008. India launches first moon rocket; minor in-flight glitch occurs.
October 21, 2008. British folk-rockers Jethro Tull plan 2009 North American busking tour.
October 18, 2008. One big happy fambly at Alligators In The Sewer.
October 14, 2008. Huge meteor crashes into furniture warehouse. Great deals on remaining merchandise.
October 12, 2008. Tina’s cousin’s excellent wedding adventure.
October 9, 2008. Finnish hackers access ATF servers, download U.S. firearms sales records.
October 7, 2008. Virgin Mary appears etched on Mass. hospital window.
October 7, 2008. Desperate Somali pirates resort to eBay in hopes of scoring ransom bounty.
October 5, 2008. Here comes Halloween, our favorite holiday season.
October 2, 2008. Every time we leave the door open something strange wanders in.
September 21, 2008. New freeway bridge unveiled in Minneapolis.
September 10, 2008. That holiday shopping season is almost upon us.
September 5, 2008. Last RNC protester rounded up in St. Paul.
September 1, 2008. Some fundamental truths.
August 22, 2008. Religious idiot seeks blessing from crocodile; gets eaten for his trouble.
August 19, 2008. Twin Cities Barbies.
August 11, 2008. Worst musical dreck of the ’70s.
(Articles with dates shown in red are AITS staff feature articles - little snapshots of life at AITS headquarters.)
